Hopes, Dreams and Keeping a Budget
November 4, 2012 § 3 Comments
Our Lily woke up at 6:30 and didn’t want to go back to sleep, but we convinced her just as the morning light started to show up in the windows. Since I returned to work just over a month ago, she has adjusted to me getting her up that early through the week. My last day at work is 12/28 and it can’t get here fast enough.
I’ll work from home (doing what, I don’t know yet) and as long as I can pay for groceries and what’s remaining on my medical bills from the delivery we’ll be fine. I am already training myself to live on 40 dollars for two week intervals – I’ve stopped buying coffee and pastries in the morning on my way to work and I’ve stopped eating out through the week. That alone has saved us more than 200 a month! If I have to travel for work, I’m using one of their vehicles. I no longer throw coupons away and what food we don’t eat right away, I freeze. I am more cognizant of buying store brand items rather than name brand and I make sure to have a list before grocery shopping. Finally, I don’t put myself in situations where I might buy on impulse. Lily helps with that too – she doesn’t let me linger long enough to debate myself if I do end up in the aisle of unnecessary things.
For example, on Saturdays I used to take trips to Target or to some cute boutique on Frankfort Avenue “just to look” but I never failed to come home with a new item I didn’t need. Instead, I think to do my laundry, which typically yields some piece of clothing I forgot I owned.
Before, I didn’t worry about budgeting. I’m not a big spendor but I spend on small delights. Coffee, pastries, soup and sandwich cafes, a blouse here, a scarf there, a new pair of earrings, make up from Clinique. Unless I am inspired to paint or write, those are a few of the superfluous ways I would spend a Saturday – lonley, fleeting joys!
Through Lily and my desire for her, I have courage to turn my back on frivolous spending. I always knew it was meaningless before, but my motivation to do anything else was easily thwarted when I only had to answer for myself.
For the past five years Myke and I have been talking about moving to the country. I have always had in my heart the romance of simple living – acreage – gardening – painting
– writing – a front porch with rocking chairs and a hospitable spirit – time and energy to engage neighbors, people at church, to invest in friendships – to see Myke in a space appropriate to all his projects –
and now, to see our daughter take on the adventures of collecting frogs, crickets, crawdads, field flowers –
instead, I find myself stuck in traffic for an hour after picking Lily up from her Ma-maw’s. I avoid phone calls – ignore knocks at the door – I rush around to prepare for the next day hoping I can get the bottles washed up fast enough and dinner made up quick enough that we might salvage some meaningful time with our daughter at the end of the day.
Above all, and God willing, I want to be home with Lily – earning an income from home and moving towards our own Little House on the Prairie.